Dear Philippe Starck,

I understand that you are a big deal in the design world. I have seen your work on display at MOMA. Did you know that MOMA has your stuff? It’s pretty cool. You should see it there sometime, although I guess you already know what it looks like. There’s even a little white card with your name on it so everyone can point and say, “Oh, that’s by Philippe Starck.” Listen Mr. Starck, MOMA is a very big deal. I am very proud of you and all your work. Good job.

Anyway, I’m blogging for Emeco now and they gave me a chair to test out. It happens to be one of your chairs. Well, it’s not exactly your chair, because you are probably sitting on your chair right now. It’s the Hudson polished silver rocker with arms. I am, in fact, sitting in it as I write this. It’s very hard and very cold and my legs keep sticking to it, but it’s pretty comfortable other than that. Sometimes I put a pillow on it. I have a throw pillow that I got as a gift a few years ago. It has Magnum P.I. on it. Tom Selleck is one of America’s most important actors.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve started to look at how I use your chair and I’ve taken copious notes. When I mean “copious,” I mean “ a lot”. Which is what I guess “copious” means. Anyway, after my extensive observations, I’ve come up with a few helpful tips that I think you could use when you design your next chair. Or you can re-design this chair. Up to you. I don’t want to tell you want to do. You are the expert here. I’m just a writer. So then, on to my notes.

1. I put a lot of stuff on my chair.
My apartment is only 187 square feet, which is very small and quite depressing. I keep pots and pans in my oven and sometimes, in my refrigerator. I end up putting a lot of stuff on my chair. Mostly books and magazines. But also jeans, shirts, sweaters, the occasional brassiere. Some of it is clean. Most of it is not. Anyway, I think that if you added shelves to the Hudson polished silver rocker with arms, it would be much more useful to the average person, in particular, myself. I can put my books on the shelves and that would be very handy. I also recommend adding a drawer for my clothes or at the very least, a coat hook. If you wanted to “pull out all the stops,” you could attach a laundry bag to the back, but that might look really ugly. I think shelves, a drawer, and a coat hook will do just fine.

2. I am a very thirsty person.
I don’t know about you, but I drink a lot of fluids. Sometimes it’s water. Other times it’s stuff like coffee or wine. I don’t really like beer, but I’ll drink that too if it’s in front of me. That’s how thirsty I am. In fact, at this very minute, I’m sitting on your chair and I am feeling thirsty. I think that your chair could benefit greatly from a cup holder. Just on one arm--the left one. Or the right one. Probably not on both though because that would look really tacky. I mean who drinks two beverages at once, right? You could make it so that it has a built in cozy to keep the hot drinks hot and the cold drinks cold. Just an idea. Again, you are the designer here. I don’t want to tell you what to do.

3. I like to snack.
While I am in your chair, Mr. Starck, I like to eat things. Crackers, sandwiches, salads, etc. It kind of goes along with #2, above. Anyway your chair could be improved with a pantry area or at least a small storage space for small dishes and such. I would also like a toaster on it because I eat a lot of toast and also because my current toaster is broken. It only toasts half the bread. I’m not sure how you’d incorporate the toaster into the chair, but lucky for me I am only making suggestions. I don’t have to actually design anything. I am in a very good position.

4. I think the chair is very cold.
Your chair is made out of aluminum, which makes it light and strong. I appreciate that. But it’s very cold. Have you sat in your chairs? You should try it if you haven’t. Anyway it’s very cold. So my recommendation—and again, this is only a recommendation—is that you add seat heaters. My friend has a very fancy car because he is an I-Banker (that stands for “investment banker” in case you didn’t know) and he has this very fancy car where the seats warm up. Sometimes they get so warm I think my butt is on fire. Anyway I was thinking you could add a seat heater. Or not. Up to you. I guess it could be an over-the-top luxury feature that really isn’t necessary. By definition the word “luxury” means crap you don’t really need.

5. I like to move around in my apartment.
Sometimes I am sitting in my chair but then I want to stand up and go somewhere else in my apartment. Since it’s only 187 square feet, there are only a few places to go, like over there or over here. But when I do move around in my apartment, I think, hmm, I wish I had my chair here. So I was thinking you add wheels. Kids really like wheels. There are sneakers that have little wheelies on the heel. Do you know about this? It’s all the rage. I was thinking something similar for your chair. I know that it’s a rocking chair, but why must it only rock? It should be able to roll too. Rock and roll.

6. I want to take my chair places.
I have been known to travel outside of my apartment. I often find myself in other places and I sit in chairs that are very uncomfortable. I wonder why every joint in this city does not have the Hudson polished silver rocker with arms. The other day I was in a bar around the corner from my apartment and I thought to myself, I should just bring my chair here. That is when I had an idea: You can make the chair so that it folds up and I can put it in my pocket or in my handbag. Preferably in my pocket. I’m not sure how you’d do this, but you strike me as a very smart and clever person. I trust you will figure it out.

So that’s it, Mr. Starck. I have offered six design solutions. I think they are all very good ideas, don’t you? Even if you use only ONE of my ideas, your chair will be one-sixth better, or 16% better. That’s better than nothing.

Sincerely,

Annie Choi